So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You made out with two different species that night
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
