We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Found your dick twin last night
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
sex in a hospital.. check
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
