he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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