So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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