Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
