Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
