I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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