we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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