they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
