thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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