bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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