There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
