Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
