Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize