if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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