just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
