i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
