I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
