If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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