It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
organizing the empties. That sober.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
