pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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