dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
