Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
This house was built for laser tag.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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