went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just puked most of my soul out..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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