i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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