no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
