Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
