You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
