I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so let's talk penis.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
