let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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