Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
