Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
