I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
