Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
