I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
