this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
OPIZZABONMYDICK
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
