I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
