I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize