i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
