remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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