Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
