Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
