i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
