Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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