you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
