i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
