I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i think i just lost a toe
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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