It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
