The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
