Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
