guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
