I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
