why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
