she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Congratulations! We have a period
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
