see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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