you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
