I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Sacagawea was the original milf.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
