ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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