There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
