if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
