His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
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for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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MIDGETS
????
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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