i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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